Saturday, February 27, 2010

Relationship Holes

Sometimes in life, we go through life changing situations – some good, some bad. People say they make you mature. I would say they rob you of your innocence - bit by bit.


On my last trip back home, I went through one myself. I learnt about the sensitivity of relationships, of the permutations and combinations they engulf, of the highly volatile graph they follow, of their depth, of shallowness, of the fact that the more you dig deep, the shallow you get.


The nature of relationship is similar to mother earth. You can dig deeper and deeper only to find water at the end. Similarly, the beginning of any relationship is soft, where it is easy to dig, followed by a hard rocky surface where the relationship gets stronger. But when we penetrate the hard rocks, we reach a stage where all we can see is water.


If we let the water flow its own course, we survive. If we start to play with it, we risk the hard rocks and sand falling on us from above causing damage to the relationship, sometimes even death.


So what is my story? Well, my problem began when some of my relationships touched water & I started to play with it. The constant splashing didn’t do much good. This time when I went back to physically examine the situation myself, I saw that there were a few pebbles and sand blocking the smooth flow of water. So I tried to clean the way by throwing the sand and pebbles outside but the more I threw, the more came back. While some relationships had this problem, in some other old holes i.e. where the relationship had grown old, the walls had become weak and I could see some hairline cracks.


So, what is more dangerous – hairline cracks or sand falling from above?


I would say hairline cracks because the bigger they get, the more the risk of the entire wall collapsing on you. Sand and pebbles can still be sucked out.


From this short analogy, I learnt a lot. I learnt that everything in life, living or non-living needs maintenance. We should make sure that we take out some time from our busy schedules to take care of it. Servicing takes a day. Repair can take a lot more – days, months, years and some damages which are irreparable leave us with no option but to close them and look for a new one.


In my life, I have dug many relationship holes but forgot the simple fact that maintenance is key. I shall now have to go back and start with the very first one, checking & repairing as I go along. It is going to be one long journey, one that I started 3000 feet high, sitting on the window seat of a low cost airline, with 2 elderly people and a housefly sitting on my tray table, scared on that turbulent fight, patiently observing me write.


The weather conditions were bad and the pilot asked us to fasten our seat belts. I could see lightening in the clouds below me. What if I don’t survive? What if I never make it to the first relationship hole? What if I don’t get a chance to tell all those people that I left behind that I cared for them and am sorry for not staying in touch?


Just as I was thinking, the pilot announced a descent to Hyderabad. The weather had cleared with good visibility of 5 km. I observed the housefly as it started to walk across the tray table, preparing to take a flight as I started to close the table for landing. The old couple up from their short evening nap, the man helped his wife tie the seat belt, making sure she is comfortable. Such a sweet gesture - an act of maintenance I thought.


I landed safely and plan to start my journey soon. If you are a part of any of my relationship holes, please feel free to give me more such ideas on maintenance. Will keep you posted as I go on with my journey, might need some help throwing pebbles out.



4 comments:

ajit24*7 said...

a lovely piece ... i mus say ...

written by a true romantic discoverin practicality ...

please pass on any wisdom you get on lettin the water flow ...

because in course of life one tends to make distributaries ... many times they wreck havocs but sometimes they are needed to irrigate the dried lands ... to help the plants grow and transforming weak shrubs to strongest trees .. which hold the soil and help in letting the water pass through

eagerly waitin 4 the next one

Madhu said...

hmm.. i love your blog..

lovely observations.. though i differ on some points

in my opinion small little gestures are not acts of maintenance. They are more like a way of living with love that is unconditional and selfless..

nupur said...

Thanks guys.. It's nice to see Ajit taking interest in such romantic stuff :P You were the one who asked me why am I not writing these days.. so let me dedicate this post to you :)

@ Maddy: I think you are right.. Love doesn't need maintenance.. It's unconditional and selfless :) I was only trying to make the term maintenance clear for the reader :)

Unknown said...

Hey Nuparr .. this is the first time i checked out your blog ... n i must say this piece is written too well..

shows a lot of thought that has gone into analyzing the abstract n putting it down in such clear words..

I would like to know what can trigger such strong analytical modes & what does it take to persevere thru such analysis till one reaches the conclusion (its my impatience that makes me ask such a question, for i often enter into such modes but can seldom sustain to reach a conclusion)..